Attending an Omani wedding

Ready for my first Omani wedding!

It was one of my biggest hopes before I arrived in Oman: to be invited to a traditional Omani wedding! Having been to a wedding in Peru, which is much like a wedding would be in England (but still very beautiful and fancy), I was excited at the prospect of going to an Omani one, which was sure to be quite different from a Christian ceremony. I didn't know much about Muslim weddings and what they entail until I began talking to my fellow Arabic-language students who had already been to a few, and to my Omani conversation partners. It turns out that they are indeed quite different.

I don't know about Muslim weddings in general, and I'm sure they differ from region to region and from country to country, but I now know the general set-up of Omani weddings. It starts with the engagement period, in which the groom and the bride agree on the marriage contract, which includes a dowry for the bride (the mahr). Traditionally, the parents of the groom, and usually the mother, will help him to find a future wife, but this is not the case for all couples. Also, despite what we sometimes see in the Media, the bride's consent is a must. The bride is to do with the money as she wishes and it is intended to give her freedom and stability throughout the marriage. After they agree upon a contract, the religious ceremony takes place. This is called the nikah, and is the ceremony in which the bride and groom say their vows. The bride usually wears traditional dress at the ceremony and some brides choose not to be seen by their husband during the ceremony. The period between the nikah and the wedding reception (zafaf) is called the milka, and, unlike the weddings I am familiar with, this period can last weeks.

I was invited to the zafaf, the party after which the newly-weds set off on their honeymoon. The first thing that is very different about the wedding receptions here is the fact that they are gender segregated. The men usually go to a mosque to share a meal, whist the female guests go to a hall, or elsewhere, to dance, eat, and welcome the bride. The bride usually wears a white dress, as is the case in the West, and the women may take off their hijabs (the head covering) as they are among only women. At the end of the party, the groom and his family come to pick up the bride (once the female guests have recovered their hair!).

The wedding I went to was in a large hall, with round tables dotted around for the guests to sit at, and a raised stage at the front with a big, white sofa surrounded by candles on it. In front of the stage was the dance floor- and the women were definitely making good use of it! One aspect I had to get used to was dancing with all the lights on, but it didn't take long for my friends and I to get up from our chairs and join the Omani girls on the dance floor. A short while later, there was an announcement: the bride was coming! Many of the women started making loud noises a bit like a noise that children make when playing 'cowboys and indians'. The bride then entered through the doors and slowly started making her way down the aisle. Her dress was stunning, with a beautifully long train trailing behind, and, of course, lots of sparkle. We then took lots of photos with her, and danced some more.
Unfortunately, we weren't able to stay long enough to see the groom's entrance, but I'm sure there will be more opportunities in the future at other weddings, inshallah.

Overall, it was a great experience that has been one of the high points of my stay in Oman so far. There are so many differences between an Omani wedding, a Peruvian wedding, and an English one (not that I really have any experience with those yet...), and I love seeing how different cultures, and religions, celebrate the 'big day'. I was unsure of the thought of a gender-segregated (and completely sober) wedding before this, but now I appreciate the concept and really enjoyed it. It's a chance for the bride and her guests to have a fun-filled night without the need to show off to men. I can't wait for my next chance to dance sober, in a fully lit room with a bunch of Omani women enthusiastically inviting you to demonstrate your moves (or there lackof) in the middle of the circle!

Najma, looking like an Omani princess, and me